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men and their penis(es)

Shame on your dirty little minds!

This is not about anything x-rated or how much you like or dislike them.

I’m an observer by nature. I people watch – could do it all day long, and have been doing so for as long as I can remember. I can watch different behaviors without saying a word – even when an action takes place right before my face.

Men, in particular, fascinate me – especially when they have to go to the bathroom. They’re like animals – don’t give a crap about where they go or the size of their audience. This is based on the next three scenarios.

On my way home from work today, I drove by an area covered with overgrown bushes that were tall enough to hide a full grown man. The stretch of road I was on was long enough for me to witness a fella go into the bushes, whip out his manly tool and relieve himself. Now, shouldn’t he have been afraid that something might jump up and bite it? Or at the very least, buzz around and sting it? Didn’t he think about all those scary movies I’ve seen?

Another time I was driving along, stopped at a red light. I see a family friend who, nonchalantly, pull out tool time, lean against the building like he was holding it up from falling, and just let it rip! Right there on a busy public transportation street. Mind you, he only lived a few blocks from where he was. I stared at him, daring him to look my way, while waiting for the light to change. How could he do that in his own hood in front of everybody? Chances were he knew just about everyone who drove by or happened to be on the trolley.

Fellas, be careful who you shake hands with.

A week ago, it was pouring down raining and I was parked on a busy street waiting on a friend to use an ATM. Buses were going in opposite directions on this busy street – businesses still open, and folks going to and fro about their business. As my friend was standing at the ATM, a guy was just standing around positioned between parked cars. Next thing you know, he undid his pants and let his thang out like a snake in the grass! “Oh, no he didn’t!” This man had no umbrella and did not care who saw him. He stood between the parked cars, facing traffic AND me – just dangling! He paid no attention to anyone while he let himself rain along with the rain that came from God’s sky. I’m looking around to see the reaction of everyone else and nobody seemed to notice. I guess they were too busy trying to get out of the rain. Me, I was stationary in the car looking at his trifling ass. And yes, I looked, watched and waited for him to make eye contact. He didn’t. Would I have said something – probably. That would have depended on how much rain I was willing to let in my ride. After he finished, he re-zipped and went on about his business. Doink!

How do you just whip out your wood – and he didn’t even bother to hold it (lol)! Like, “Here I am world, look at this!” And everybody ain’t crazy so don’t even try that line. Even though these guys went in public – does it embarrass them even a little? Is it humiliating? What?! And what about the droplet stains? I throw up my hands and shrug.

But, I’m still curious. I can understand going in a semi-private corner and showing a little humility like you know it ain’t right, but you just had to go. I can tolerate that. But the last guy – how do you even explain him?

We women can’t do that. We’d just as soon pee ourselves before we squat in public, moistening our legs and damaging our shoes, clothes and hosiery all because our aim ain’t quite right.

Get it together fellas – do it for me because I really don’t need to see you pee!


About T. Anthony-Horton

If you know me, you are very much aware of how I truly enjoy writing - because after all - it is my thang. If you are unfamiliar with me, welcome to my wonderful word of me. I have one book published, "Office Antics & Sexual Liaisons", and I am actively working on the sequel. I humbly appreciate all who have purchased and read my 1st creation (even if you read it without purchasing, you have entered my mind and got a sense of my writing style). I always welcome all feedback; positive, negative, indifferent - doesn't matter - makes me a better and more conscientious writer - all I ask is that you not be disrespectful. I can be sarcastic, comical, sensitive, informative, and overly descriptive (lol) as I've been told. I'm cool with all that, and to those who are not into my style of prose, I get that too. I still have two other books in my head that should've been on paper a long time ago - what?! - I do have a life y'all! So stay tuned for the sequel, which is tentatively titled, "After the Antics". In the meantime, continue to follow my blog and tell someone about it. I love you for readin' my writin'. Peace!

26 responses »

  1. Hee! Hee! Hee!
    I do know that men can’t hold their urine like women can so I guess they have to release it as soon as they have the urge! But I will say that men used to have some dignity and respect when they were out in public and tried to hide as much as they could; however, that is not the case nowadays so what is the saying? “Go with the flow?”
    You’re absolutely correct Tillie!

    • Yes, Linda! That’s what I was getting at – the lack of respect nowadays! I going to ask the next one I see if I’m in close proximity!! That should be interesting.

      • Good morning Ladies! I too agree lack of respect both for self and others. My husband will leave a restaurant and then relieve himself outside instead of going back into the restaurant. He does hide but I am stuck with this mental picture.

  2. I say we start a “youtube” episode…Can you Identify the PP Male in this pix? (be aware, as long as they are peeing keep camera rolling, before the finish get outta dodge!)

    Hope embarassment will get these non-Cowboys to keep their lil pistols in the holsters til they get to a ranch. Pissing me off!

  3. There’s a time and place for everything. If there are any establishments within the area that will allow me to use the restroom, then I will not fertilize the earth. But if I cannot find such a place and if I can go somewhere that I won’t scare innocent women and children, then I will have to take care of myself as God intended.

  4. It seems some women are envious of the fact that dudes can handle their business anywhere, without hassle, and instantly.

    I haven’t peed outside in many years, except along a remote roadside during a long car trip. Discreetness and sanitary wipes were part of the process. Otherwise, a restroom is usually available, or there’s a plan for a relief station convenience. During my youth, running the streets of North Philly, I admit that alley pissing was part of the norm. But, so was discretion.

    Based on what I’ve read here, privacy and cleanliness are no longer part of the take-a-public-piss process. Guys just whipping it out willy nilly, anywhere, and accompanied by witnesses of either gender. Wow, times have changed.

    • So, you’re the reason N. Philly smelled back in the day, huh? (lol) I don’t know if women are envious – we just see it as nasty – the proof is in the responses, and yes, times have drastically changed. thanks for your response.

  5. If more women reacted by laughing at that little head as if “where’s the rest of it?!” some of them might just stop doing it…well it’s worth a try… But I must admit I don’t see this, maybe once a year. Til, I think you might be a pee-penis magnet…lol

  6. OMG how I do agree! While entering the tunnel to head for the train one day I saw a man walk towards the trash bin, whips out his todger, look directly at me like, “Do I scare you?!”, and proceeds to urinate right in the trash bin. I laughed…hard and I don’t think that’s what he expected. What goes through their brains?

  7. When I first read this it took me back to when my son was little. I always made sure he went to the bathroom be we left to go places. One thing I don’t want to see is some grown behiind man pulling his thing out. Using outside areas as public restroom . Just cant take it. I know how you feel. Lol

  8. Angel E. Preston

    Ikr,it baffles me as well why the male species behaves in such manner. I remmember one day was lookung out my bedrm window nd this guy i also knew who lived across the str. pulled his thang out nd as he started pissing i me nd my freaky az noticed how big it was nd said daum!He looked up at me smile then had a nerve nd winked his eye at me.I hollered u so nasty nd slamed my window down.Now mind u idont know if i was more angry at me for thinking naughty thoughts or him for being so arrogant.

  9. OMG Tillie once again you have touched my thoughts when men do that I feel so embarrassed ,I wish they would be more indiscreet please please

  10. It seems that men use to be careful of peeing in public and would make every effort to hide themselves if they absolutely had to go. Now a days its thrown out at every opportunity showing lack of respect for themselves and everybody else. Can u imagine how many unwashed penis held hands out there touching everything? Makes me shudder!

  11. vanessa nedrick

    This was a funny read but so true and real. Men have it easy when it comes to peeing.

  12. Well, One thing is for sure. I am glad the Lord made me a male. When the Lord says it’s time to go no man in the world can hold that water. Man, Keep a small bottle of hand sanitizer with you. Let it rip. Sanitize your hands, And keep it moving.


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