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Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself


I engage in interesting and provocative conversations on a daily basis (I’m like a magnet; folks find me easy to talk to and appreciate my honesty). I get a glimpse into how you really feel about yourselves, and I must admit that some of you are your own worst critics, which begs me to ask this – how is it that self-deprecation wins over self-appreciation?

Answer: Because of feeling unworthy, which is stupid – but then maybe I just don’t get it. Doesn’t it take a lot from you (mentally) to feel disheartened day after day? Wouldn’t it be more mind healthy to compliment yourself – you know, that polite way to show praise, admiration, and flattery – toward self?

We applaud for others, we smile, and nod a sign of approval toward them too. We admire O.P.P (other people’s property), and even their goals and achievements. Yet, there are those who are still not satisfied with their own accomplishments until I reminded them of such.

What I’ve found in talking to others is that they are not where they want to be in life and where they are is not considered successful – but, by whose standards? It depends on one’s interpretation. Having reasonably good health, a great career, decent house, car, kids or not, spouse or not, money in the bank – all could be considered forms of success.

No matter what you go through on a daily basis and whatever your particular issues are, there is something decent in you that ought to be acknowledged by you.

You are someone’s everything. You may mean a little or a lot, but someone looks forward to seeing your face, hearing your voice, receiving your hug, and reading your Face Book posts – all because you have made a positive impact in their lives.

So, don’t be too hard on yourself that you can’t see your own self-worth. Start with the small stuff. Look in the mirror and get to know or dare I say, “like” the person you see. The one who’s done some terrible stuff in the past and the one going through whatever it is now; there is plenty of good in you. I’m sure you don’t have to dig deep to find it.

The Book of Proverbs is a guide to help us live happy and peaceful lives. Check it out and be blessed.

Thank you for readin’ my writin’.

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About T. Anthony-Horton

If you know me, you are very much aware of how I truly enjoy writing... because after all - it is my thang. I have one book published, "Office Antics & Sexual Liaisons", and I am actively working on the sequel. I appreciate all who have purchased and read my 1st creation. I absolutely enjoy conversations with you about the characters I've created - shows me you really did read my book! I always welcome all feedback; positive, negative, indifferent - doesn't matter - makes me a better and more conscientious writer. I can be sarcastic, comical, sensitive, informative, and overly descriptive (lol) as I've been told. I'm cool with all that, and to those who are not into my style of prose, I get that too. I still have two other books in my head that should've been on paper a long time ago - what?! I do have a life y'all! Stay tuned for the sequel, which is tentatively titled, "After the Antics". In the meantime, continue to follow my blog and tell someone about it. I love you for readin' my writin'. Peace!

19 responses »

  1. My Sistah, This was great! The devil tries to keep us in a state of defeat through us not loving ourselves and by us not being able to forgive ourselves.Remember even when you act unlovable, God still loves you. For many, God forgave you a long time ago, but you are still struggling with the ‘improprieties” in your life. Get over yourself…accept the blessing of another day to try and get it right. Give God your best and He will handle the rest.
    Love you to wholeness,
    Bea

    Reply
  2. Well said and very insightful!

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  3. This piece will/could nudge someone towards a proper perspective, and forwards in “healing,” issues of self worth.
    My perspective is that, when I was very young, I sometimes felt I didn’t fit in certain social situations. Though I’ve always had girlfriends and crews, I somehow felt out of place in some other circumstances where an overwhelmingly number of folks were not part of my various circles. That caused what I thought were self worth/esteem problems.
    As I got older I began to understand that there was nothing wrong with me, my self esteem was intact. I simply had a preference for certain social settings, more quieter and intimate social settings (introvertive), while everyone else appeared to prefer noise and a lot of strangers. I even had the nerve to marry an extreme extrovert, which never really bothered me.
    Once I determined who I was internally — developed a self-concept — all doubt disappeared. I operated as dictated by my own comfort, adjusted my view from the standpoint of what my needs were instead of imposing external expectations on my behavior. There was no more second guessing myself.
    As far as being disappointed with myself, that has never been an issue. I’ve never had many regrets about what I’ve done or not done, accumulated or not . . . you know, the usual suspects. Mostly I do whatever, learn from it, and move on without having it reflect on how I feel about myself.
    Simply put, I just happen to one who likes who I am. I’m not sure whether that comes from nature or nights though, as I’ve known folks who seem to have great lives who somehow don’t think so much of themselves. I’ve also found that many of those people are not very introspective in terms of how they deal with others either. Maybe folks like that are just insensitive and non-observant generally, so they mis-gauge themselves as well as others.
    **Too long. This is why I usually don’t comment.**

    Reply
    • Leon, I always appreciate your responses so please continue to respond no matter the length. Yours is a very insightful piece – thanks for sharing so much of yourself. And I realize that everyone who reads this is not affected by it – but I thank them for reading anyway; however, you were smart enough to realize the problem was not you and that is a point some folks never reach. Then comes the self-doubt and all the depressing negativity and the like. Again, thanks for responding, my friend 🙂

      Reply
  4. I really enjoyed reading this blog! I didn’t want it to end! Can’t wait for the next one! Keep writing girl!

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  5. Juanita Young

    I think we have all been there and done that at one time or another in our lives, but you are absolutely right. One of the things that make you say
    Umm😏😳😉

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  6. Muriel Horton

    First, I am so happy you post this blog. I can relate to this reading in so many ways because, some days I feel as if I am behind in life. However, your correct we all have to look at the small accomplishments in our life and never compare ourselfs with other people’s life’s. We all have made mistakes, No one is perfect. Thank you again for writing this blog it was very motivating!! 🙌🏽😊

    Reply
    • Aw, and let me first say that I am glad you read my blogs and respond to them – it means the world to me! And your response lets me know that as long as I reach ONE, it’s all worth writing. It is my wish that someone “gets it” from my writings and I’m happy it is you, my dear! 🙂

      Reply
  7. Yaaassss, so true!!!!

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  8. Nice piece. I find that folks must first forgive themselves for past regrets, poor choices and such. Only then will you be able to regroup, refocus and remember that you are human and that we all make mistakes. I found this out a long time ago, but every since then, I find I can look in the mirror and say, I love me some me. Therefore, whatever is for me, will be, and whatever isn’t for me at the time, oh well, I’m still all that.

    Reply
    • Just to let you know, I laughed out loud at your last six words! A girl after my own heart – that’s why we click so well. I believe you do have to love yourself or at least like yourself, and like you – I love me some me too!

      Reply
  9. Very Inspiring Mrs. T!

    Reply
  10. Thanks Auntie, this was right on time!

    Reply

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