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Category Archives: Human Nature

2014 resolution – mend that relationship

Unlike a lot of folks, I gladly welcome every new year with open arms. For me it’s time to rejuvenate thoughts and goals. I always look forward to correcting, enhancing or finishing what I started the year before. In the past few years, my outlook has been much brighter; my goals a little more attainable, and it’s only because of reasonable and realistic goals I set.

Maybe the reason folks don’t bother with new year’s resolutions or fail at them is because they put too much pressure on themselves. Why make a resolution knowing it’s too difficult to achieve? So, let’s remove the more popular ones like losing weight, exercising more (which I personally never make because I hate exercising), tithing on the regular, – and replace it with another one that could be considered the forgotten resolution.

Family ties and true friendships are falling apart – let’s face it. It’s senseless what we’re doing or have done to one another. What we must (and I emphasize the word) do is work on mending at least one relationship that’s in need of repair. Everyone, including me, reading these words right now is guilty of doing absolutely nothing when it comes to making amends – no matter who’s at fault. My family is no different from yours. I can think of three jacked up relationships right off the bat – no, make that four… no, five (dang)! Two are not mine, but the rest are. I’m not particularly looking forward to one that’s very challenging because of resistance from the other party, but it’ll be worth the effort for the sake of family.

And what is it that stops me/us from reaching out? Pride – do we feel such an overblown sense of self that it makes us believe we’re too good to reach out? Or is it stubbornness – refusing time after time knowing we should but just don’t? Or how about immaturity where we don’t even consider the depth of destruction? The more I write, the more numbers I can add to my own messed up list – hmm, deep.

So, how ’bout we all make the first move in reaching out? Let’s challenge ourselves and extend that olive branch by making this year better than the last. I’m going to follow my own advice and before the end of the month I will have taken the first step in making good on this New Year’s Resolution.

What about you? How are you gonna mend your relationship?

Did you just feed your dog with that fork?

Yes, you did, and I saw you.

I was driving along East Girard Avenue in Fishtown with the kid and two friends when I stopped at a red light. To my right was an outdoor restaurant, which is now a common sight in the Philadelphia area – not my thang, but more power to the people who don’t mind outdoor eating while public transportation (trolleys & buses) and regular traffic seasons their meals with dust and fumes.

As I’m waiting, I see a woman sitting at a table with a gentleman and a dog. I then see the woman feed the dog with the fork that the restaurant loaned her for her meal. After feeding the dog, she poked the food in her plate and proceeded to eat – off the same fork she just fed the dog with! Now, I love animals just as much as the next human being, but I’ll be doggone if I knowingly eat with the same utensil I just fed my dog with!

“Oh my god! Did y’all see that?” I asked my passengers.

“Yup, I saw it,” says my gal pal, Jules.

Now, there were two things that crossed my mind as I watched the woman continue to eat as if it were a normal thing: 1) “Eew, that’s nasty” and 2) Even though the dog-fed-utensil will be washed and cleaned, some unsuspecting patron will use that same fork.

As a result, that particular restaurant lost a car full of potential customers because of what two had witnessed.

Why do folks do certain things – and in public? Did the woman not care who would use that fork after her and the dog? Suppose the dog just licked his butt? Or sniffed a cigarette butt with nasty saliva on it thrown away by some degenerate (gonna end up “butt” anyway). Did it not faze her on how others viewed her actions? I doubt she gave a damn for real. Isn’t feeding your animal with human utensils something you do in the privacy of your home? Is that similar to breast feeding in public – folks look at you like you’re crazy? Did the thought cross her mind that the restaurant could (and did) lose potential customers and revenue? Aren’t we a selfish society? I don’t care what anyone thinks, it’s my dog and I’ll feed him when and where I please! Eff y’all!

So, listen here, lady – do not feed your pet in public with utensils intended for human usage! Whether you did (I highly doubt it) or did not take your own fork to the restaurant, do not assume that everybody else did the same. I saw you feed your dog with that fork! I don’t know if you took it from your home, but I know what I saw, and it turned me off from ever visiting that establishment. Everyone is not as comfortable as you are with your style of dog feeding, which brings something else to mind – it doesn’t matter if you dine in fine high end establishments, air polluted sidewalk cafes, or even the reasonably priced buffets, we’re all susceptible to the dangers and bad habits of others. We take chances on the food we consume if we didn’t prepare it ourselves, the dishes our food are placed on and the utensils we put in our mouths.

I enjoy eating out and look forward to doing so. I try to take the kid to a different restaurant every time I get paid, so with that in mind, I should feel at ease with the service I’m paying for. My thoughts shouldn’t be consumed with wondering if the family pet ate off my plate or licked my fork.

That’s my food for thought – what’s yours?

Take your own plastic ware when dining out….

tattoos – too much nowadays?

Last week, the husband and I ate breakfast at a local restaurant. Our waitress was a young girl who had tattoo markings all over her body – not exactly inviting for an eating establishment, but the food was decent enough and I wouldn’t begrudge anyone the opportunity to make an honest day’s pay.

Working alongside her was another waitress who appeared to be slightly older and tattoo laden as well. As husband stared at our waitress, he shook his head and said, “Why don’t you blog about this?”

“And say what?”

“Like why they want to do their bodies like that.”

I shrugged and thought, “Okay, why not?”

So, here’s my opine.

The art of tattooing is no longer special or relevant. I remember when I was a kid, to see someone with a tattoo was a rare and exciting thing, and I definitely don’t recall women showcasing permanent art work – maybe it was discreetly hidden, I don’t know. But, don’t get me wrong, I’m not putting down all who has writings on their bodies – heck, I even have a “toy tattoo” myself. “Toy” because my niece who is also a tattoo junkie, labeled my tat as such because it’s small and childlike, and didn’t take over an entire body part.

On my right shoulder are two small hearts with falling tear drops. I would have gotten the tat on my left arm, but it would have covered the vaccination mark I proudly display. Folks of a certain age, I’m sure, can appreciate that sentiment; however, I digress (I do that often) – my mom died in ’93 and the tat is dedicated to her memory.

But getting back to tats – I believe it’s more of a fad nowadays because everybody and their mommas have ’em! And you all know it’s true. They’re your neighbors, co-workers, school kids, the person sitting next to you and standing above you on public transportation; and even the driver himself and the person who delivers your pizza! Aside from us regular tattoo-having Joes, there are those who are so covered that their skin looks burned and unnatural – or how ’bout this – nightmarishly ugly! You know you’ve seen a few yourself that completely grossed you out. And how about folks with tattoos all over their bodies – you know the ones completely covered from neck to ankles? Yeah, they confuse my brain – throw me in a state of confusion because the skin they’re in don’t match the clothes they wear!

My kid asked a couple of years ago if she could get a tattoo when she got older. “Absolutely not,” I said and I meant it. “Have a clear body; don’t be like everyone else.” I’ll never forget when she told me the number of her classmates who had tattoos. “What?!” Unbelievable. At the time, we were talking 12 & 13 year olds! I explained how I disagreed with parents who allowed kids that young to be branded. How could you even justify that? Me shrugging with a confused look on my face.

Then there’s the infamous “Tramp Stamp” – that lovely butterfly or symbol no one understands – stamped on the lower back for viewing pleasure as you’re (say slowly) get-tin’ it from behind….

It would be refreshing to see the next generation tattoo-free or at least not have the art work on display for all to see. Please believe that people judge by what’s seen on the outside. You can have your tats, but unless you’re going into business for yourself, a potential employer does not need to witness all your markings.

So, I have these questions for you: How harshly do you judge people who have tattoos and would you hire someone whose body is covered to the point of not recognizing their original skin?

Food for thought, folks….

men and their penis(es)

Shame on your dirty little minds!

This is not about anything x-rated or how much you like or dislike them.

I’m an observer by nature. I people watch – could do it all day long, and have been doing so for as long as I can remember. I can watch different behaviors without saying a word – even when an action takes place right before my face.

Men, in particular, fascinate me – especially when they have to go to the bathroom. They’re like animals – don’t give a crap about where they go or the size of their audience. This is based on the next three scenarios.

On my way home from work today, I drove by an area covered with overgrown bushes that were tall enough to hide a full grown man. The stretch of road I was on was long enough for me to witness a fella go into the bushes, whip out his manly tool and relieve himself. Now, shouldn’t he have been afraid that something might jump up and bite it? Or at the very least, buzz around and sting it? Didn’t he think about all those scary movies I’ve seen?

Another time I was driving along, stopped at a red light. I see a family friend who, nonchalantly, pull out tool time, lean against the building like he was holding it up from falling, and just let it rip! Right there on a busy public transportation street. Mind you, he only lived a few blocks from where he was. I stared at him, daring him to look my way, while waiting for the light to change. How could he do that in his own hood in front of everybody? Chances were he knew just about everyone who drove by or happened to be on the trolley.

Fellas, be careful who you shake hands with.

A week ago, it was pouring down raining and I was parked on a busy street waiting on a friend to use an ATM. Buses were going in opposite directions on this busy street – businesses still open, and folks going to and fro about their business. As my friend was standing at the ATM, a guy was just standing around positioned between parked cars. Next thing you know, he undid his pants and let his thang out like a snake in the grass! “Oh, no he didn’t!” This man had no umbrella and did not care who saw him. He stood between the parked cars, facing traffic AND me – just dangling! He paid no attention to anyone while he let himself rain along with the rain that came from God’s sky. I’m looking around to see the reaction of everyone else and nobody seemed to notice. I guess they were too busy trying to get out of the rain. Me, I was stationary in the car looking at his trifling ass. And yes, I looked, watched and waited for him to make eye contact. He didn’t. Would I have said something – probably. That would have depended on how much rain I was willing to let in my ride. After he finished, he re-zipped and went on about his business. Doink!

How do you just whip out your wood – and he didn’t even bother to hold it (lol)! Like, “Here I am world, look at this!” And everybody ain’t crazy so don’t even try that line. Even though these guys went in public – does it embarrass them even a little? Is it humiliating? What?! And what about the droplet stains? I throw up my hands and shrug.

But, I’m still curious. I can understand going in a semi-private corner and showing a little humility like you know it ain’t right, but you just had to go. I can tolerate that. But the last guy – how do you even explain him?

We women can’t do that. We’d just as soon pee ourselves before we squat in public, moistening our legs and damaging our shoes, clothes and hosiery all because our aim ain’t quite right.

Get it together fellas – do it for me because I really don’t need to see you pee!